NARCISSISM AND TOXIC SOCIAL-INTERACTION

Publicado: 27 de abril de 2019 em Sem categoria

Tradução : Listen to Narcissismo.m4a by EuroMinding #np on #SoundCloud

https://soundcloud.com/user-828257249/narcissismo-m4a

         It’s important to get to the roots of a problem to understand and to find solutions to that problem. The toxic behaviors within social interactions is one of them.

          It’s easy to try to start on the top, or at a point in a line, or in the middle, but it’s not sustainable because this just bring us easy answers and also comfortable perspectives.

         For understanding why we fail so often and so historically, we have to go back, deep and even upward, at a globally panoramic point, trying to reach transcendence, but avoiding getting lost in our own delusions. It’s not easy, it demands science. And science is not another entity, it’s a process, a systematic and laborious process, quite bitter for busy monkeys.

        But, we have some good contributions from that set of fields, and also bad ones. And that’s ok, science is a process, and this process just can become optimized with several competitive studies, reducing the unpleasant biases.

   So, I choose to start discussing narcissism and toxic interactions considering something that most of us will tend to agree: We didn’t invent this shit. It came before us. We have always been this way, and so our sister Neanderthal, and our mother or grandmother Erectus used to be already toxic and so other animals and other forms of life, including plants.

        Then we could start asking why are we like that and look at what we are like for. We might call that resources, physicists are going to call that energy. But most of us still don’t get what is energy in the end because it’s a word very used and abused in animistic or mystical protophilosofies and the talk may get lost for lack of mutual definition. Notwithstanding I’ll keep the fight for energy (photons) as the core of competitive behaviors, even when it’s masked as competition for “love”.

        It’s valid, in my opinion, to understand these weird concepts like energy, DNA and perpetuation of the species, evolution, primatology and etc for bringing us back to Earth when we discuss competitive behavior and what makes us so toxic. And all that  without being afraid because that makes things less disappointing. We don’t get disapponted when dogs still ate shoes or cats are not so social or emotionally dependable as we demand from them for supplying our own emotional dependences. Because we respect their limitations as canines and felines. While we are stuck  in the idea that we are a kind of fallen angels (borrowing this concept from proto-Jewish mythology) just because we don’t want to admit that we and animals are in the same boat, or arc. And we behave like that exactly for narcissism, the idea that we are kind of unique, special, distinct and, the most important characteristic, that we own more rights than others.

        Those who yet advocates for a lovely mankind, superior to savagery or bestiality will point to some existence of harmonious tribes of humans or even countries. But, as most of us don’t as many of us do not understand the mechanisms of evolution, many of us do not know how to deal with duality, coexistence, diversity or plurality.

        When I say that we are not angels that were taught to be evil by aliens, capitalism, talking snakes (I bet some snakes really spoke to us, after biting our legs, inserting venom into our veins), males or white European, I DO NOT DENY that we learn sustainable cultures. I do the opposite of that actually, I defend that cultures, when developed and taught from grandmas to granddaughters, are focused on the sustainability of the well being of the individuals of the community; and it takes time to be well stablished because it’s very dependent on the environmental conditions; and so it’s broken by hateful and xenophobic invaders. I mean, I defend that we are animals very dependent and easily absorbent of cultures taught in our childhood (especially because our environmental conditions can be unstable) and that these cultures might be good, well projected or developed to the well being of the members of the community, building “healthy”, “good”, “empathetic”, “contributor” humans, BUT, we still keep our instinct of self-protection, “me first”, “ready for fighting”, just in case of the resources are not being so abundant, and the cooperation is not being or doesn’t seem to be profitable in the short term. And when we are afraid, anxious, we tend to think in short term, like we are going to die tomorrow. In a turbulent and conflict-ridden society, we are afraid monkeys that fear for our tomorrow.

        In a large society, full of strange faces, and strange cultures, we are afraid. Afraid of everything. Humans are very tricky. And in a battle they will use all set of tricks to fool others. While some class of children are raised to be naive, gullible, and easily fooled. So they become easy prey for those who have been trained since childhood to be predators.

        Aware of that, we should stop to sit down and study a lot of human tricks for fooling each other. We must study narcissists and narcissistic tricks. And in my experience, when I say that to women, curiously the most naive, they simply don’t give a fuck for studying. They are, first, lazy as fuck for doing research, especially this kind, so depressing. And secondly they really believe that they are too smart for that. They are ready, they are not like the others, fool and naive. “Not me, I’m too smart”. Kind of complex, right? But in my defense I have being quite emphatic: “study about narcissism!”.

        I did, of course, and I still do. It’s one of my 30 topics followed in Quora.com, for example. I still do and I built a theory that Narcissism is a game, not an absolute condition. And it’s not about an absolute victim or empathetic person and her or his predator, it’s about Exploration and Dependence – The Game. Any person can play that game. Differently from the most current paradigm, I don’t feel sorry for the victim of a narc, I accept that that person is in a position of loser in a game that she or he was also playing, competing for resource. In my analysis, the victim doesn’t love the narc, they were there for supplying a dependence that they should first solve, before admitting to be in love. You can’t love someone else without loving yourself. When it happens, it’s not love, it’s a game of interests. The narc is just a better player, with some advantages like, for example, money… power… knowledge… experience of life… age… and the most important: knowledge of the human emotions and their responses. The narcs is a person that play good the game of controlling others’ emotions. She or he controls the emotions of people that don’t even have control over themselves. The loser loses for not being prepared for dealing with humans. And they were in that game for lacking resources. Emotional support is a resource. It can also become an addiction. And the reason for that is that the autonomy of that individual wasn’t developed, probably for the way that their parents raised them.

 

Narcissism is a game, not an absolute condition. And it's not about an absolute victim or empathetic person and her or his predator, it's about Exploration and Dependence - The Game.

 

        However, have in mind that I am not saying that narcs are self-sufficient. They are not. They need to defeat people for supplying their pride, their self-esteem. It gives orgasms to a narc to see that they can make other human, the other wolf, a puppet. It’s like having someone to wash your dishes and do your laundry, giving you resources of free time for relaxing and chilling, but in the narcissistic game the case here is to have an emotional slave, that will always be there available, like our pets.

        It could be something more mutual or cooperative like “hey, I’ll be there for you because we make well each other, ok?”, but… mutualism demands energy. It’s easier to have slaves instead of “you made my lunch, now I’ll wash the dishes”. The narc is dependent of supplies, emotional supplies that will validate their importance and the tomorrow – the dependent will always be there, serving. And to ensure that, the game is quite similar to the Boss versus Employees game, the dependent must to be kept dependent. If your employee earns money enough for having their own business, you are going to losing them. That’s why it’s a economic pyramid set, without an obtuse angle, because for that system remains long, the dependent people can’t never get enough for being satisfied. They must be dependent of the game. And that’s how narcs play, adjusting the illusions and expectations of the emotionally poor player.

        In the capitalism game, sexual expectations and social validation dependencies are still the adjusted and played factors by those on the top of the pyramids. Males go fight for money to buy females and females go fight for the males that can provide them shining items and they can ensure that their emotional dependencies (like children) will be fulfilled until the end. This only works because we are animals, apes, and male animals can kill for sex, so strong is that instinct inside them. Apes are also social animals, not solitary predators, so the instinct for social bonding screams inside us. Who are on top can play with us like we play with laboratory mice. That’s what Facebook and other social media platforms take in consideration when they develop their layouts.  Really cool, right?

 

In the capitalism game, sexual expectations and social validation dependencies are still the adjusted and played factors by those on the top of the pyramids.

 

        If we were really angels, we wouldn’t be so controlled by sexual impulses Resultado de imagem para horny dogor by emotional silliness. Some researchers even claim that if we had more available sex (I am not defending that idea or rape, for fuck’s sake), we wouldn’t have so much violence and conflicts (coming from males). If we were angels, we wouldn’t be puppets of the biochemistry. Angels are idealized beings, superior for having what we really lack as humans, control over our “selves” and self-suffiency.

        While we lack resources, we will be stressed, anxious, silly, competitive and violent. Passive or frontally aggressive, overt or covert narcissists. And without references, war, battles and gossips will be all we have as plan for surviving, because we will fear the tomorrow, and the other will be our enemy and not our potential ally. Although I believe and defend that in some isolated and privileged area, grandmas could build a smarter and cooperative community of human monkeys, unfortunately, Game Theory is a thing and I do recommend to study this shit in order of understanding the game that we are fucking playing.

Obrigada pelo seu feedback, ele que faz o blog seguir. :)

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